Osaka Mihama Friendship Garden
by Hwikek
Summary: A story that deals with love, revenge, Chiyo, Osaka, and numerous yet infuriating comments that can be noticed everyday.  Not to mention the Queen of New York.  Oneshot, one kill.  HOORAH and SEMPER FI!


It was an extremely normal day. The main cast of characters sat at their respective desks, while the obnoxious teacher named Yukari walked in through the door.

"Does everyone remember why we are here today?"

The students shook their heads since they were waiting for Yukari to tell them why. She had promised to tell all of the classes the reason they went to school. They were all anxious, worried about what she was going to say.

"Are you serious?"

The students were becoming confused.

"Isn't she supposed to tell us why we're here?" Kaori asked Koyomi.

"She said that she would," Koyomi responded, "But it seems to me that she won't tell us why we come here everyday."

"So you guys seriously don't know why you go to school?"

Eyes nervously moved back and forth. Several of the students decided to lay their heads against their desks, so they could go to sleep. Kagura raised her hand.

"Is it to get out of your hair?"

"No," said Yukari, "It's because there's a little itty bitty thing called the law. And this _mostly_ written group of documents says that you have to go to school…I think."

"I should have stayed home," said Tomo.

"Hey Miss Ayumu," said Chiyo, "What are we going to do after this class is over?"

"I think we'll just go to our next class," said Ayumu, "What did you have in mind?"

"Umm…. I didn't have anything in mind to be honest," said Chiyo.

"Hey," said Kagura, "This is someone who I taught to throw a baseball."

"You mean whom," said Yukari.

"Oh man," said Sakaki, "You just got whomed! Fricking whomed!"

"STFU," said Kagura.

"You're so mean Kagura," said Osaka.

"No one is allowed to insult the sporty members of this class!" screamed Yukari, "It may cause us to lose to Nyamo! THOU SHALT BE PUNISHED…TODAY!"

Ayumu was entirely confused by the unnecessary ending that Yukari's sentence had. It felt tacked on to her, as if she had completely run out of ideas. But the idea of being punished for a valid criticism was a foreign idea to her. It was almost as if she was talking to her mother.

Chiyo watched as Yukari came closer and closer. There was a dangerous look in her eyes. Chiyo didn't know what Yukari was going to do to Ayumu, but the young girl knew that the crazy psycho bitch teacher needed to be stopped!

"Miss Yukari?"

"What is it Chiyo?"

"There's something I have to say."

"And what would that be?" asked the language (or English if you're not into dubs) teacher.

"IMA TRANSFORM YA! IMA TRANSFORM YA! IMA TRANSFORM YA! IMA TRANSFORM YA! IMA TRANSFORM YA…!"

The other students covered their ears in pain as Chiyo continued to scream.

"Why?" asked one of the male students before he listened to tunes with his iPod. He felt embarrassed when the first song was, "_I, know a place. Where the grass is really greener._" What made it even worse was when a girl he liked saw the kind of crap he listened to. She then decided to ignore him for the rest of her mortal life.

_Why?_ The boy wondered, _why do people hate Katy Perry?_

"Gah!" Yukari screamed as she held her hands against her ears. "What is going on?"

At that moment Yukari's brain had a slight malfunction. She faux got why she had been holding her hands against her head, since Chiyo had stopped screaming out an annoying line from…I faux got. The language teacher sat down at her desk. She rifled through papers for the rest of the class.

"Chiyo?"

"Yes Miss Ayumu?"

Ayumu grabbed Chiyo's hand. The spacey girl looked deep into the midget's eyes. The brown depths of her pupils gave a Chiyo a warm feeling. She couldn't get enough of it.

"Chiyo," said Ayumu, "I think…that we can be friends."

"Really?" asked the young high school student.

"Yes," Kasuga nodded, "We're friends now."

And so Chiyo and Osaka became friends. Not bffs, not even bfs, just fs. As Tomo finished telling her "friends" Kagura and Yomi this tale she faced some pretty harsh criticism.

"That story is stupid Tomo," said Yomi.

"Even I can come up with something better than that," said Kagura.

"You cannot!" screamed the "Wildcat Idiot", "You're such a dumbass!"

"I'm just a what bitch?" asked Kagura.

"Um…you're Queen of New York. You're number one."

"You say it louder boy!"

"You're Queen of New York! You're number one!"

"That's right," said Kagura, "You need to remember that, 'cause I'm black and I'm proud!"

"You're black?" asked Koyomi.

"Course I'm black," said Kagura, "Why do you think I'm so good at sports?"

"But you know how to swim," said Tomo.

"What does that have to do with anything?" asked Kagura, "You a crack-ah or somethin'?"

"No," said Tomo.

"Then why did you think it was weird that black people can swim? It's people like you who brought us down."

"You're not black," said Yomi, "And this talk about sports, and use of anastrophe is offensive."

"Really?" Kagura asked, "I just wanted to sound cool. I mean look at coach, she's decked out in gangsta clothing!"

"Yeah that's right!" said Nyamo, "Check out my grilles and mah bling bitches!"

"Why do you have a Japanese word hanging from your neck?"

"Man that's to block rival bullets man! I need some support 'fore I whip out my Glock and cap some bitches."

"You look as lame as Eminem," said Yukari.

"Shut up Yukari!" screamed Nyamo, "Eminem is a talented singer and song writer!"

"You have his picture in your glove compartment don't you?" asked the bitchy teach-ah.

"Yes," Minamo looked at the ground.

"He would never date you."

"Shut up! You don't know that!"

"The Simpsons is the best show of all time!" screamed Kagura.

"No it isn't bitch!" yelled Kaorin, "Family Guy is the best show of all time!"

"No!" said Osaka, "The Cleveland Show is the best show of all time!"

"STFU," said Kagura, and Kaorin, "And also…shut up. Cleveland Show is FAIL."

"Oh no," said Sakaki, "I can't get this thing off my chest!"

"Giggidy!" said Kimura.

"STFU," said Minamo, "Don't make me give you another swirlie."

"I'll behave."


End file.
